They are getting more violent

Now, i taught the kids that, yes, stretching is good for you, but maybe i accidently inferred that not stretching leads to spontaneous blood explosions of the arms. I love the expression on the guy's face after his arms explode off.

If you have been watching my incredibly conisistent grading scale you will note that the above got the highest grade of 3 rabbit stamps, for drawing, english skills, and blase extreme violence.

This episode is a bit epic but features some of my favorite ending lines-the paramedics scraping the bodies off the pavement: "You are so silly" "Oh, Yes"

This is sure to be a hit amoung all my friends obsessed with basketball, and phrases like "My arm is pain!"

More Comics

This one is quick is direct.

Comics!

I just found out that I am the sole source for any scientific information to these children, which is pretty scary. The only other subjects they learn are Chinese, English, and math. Last week, I was told that as their science teacher i was required to have a class in the science lab. Then I was told that i would have to do science experiments in the lab. Then i was told that i still had to stay on our current subject of "Sports Safety." Then i was told that the science rooms have no equipment, and consist of just a room with sinks in the desk and a partially shattered floor.

So, in short, i had to made a lesson for the kids to do science experiments in a broken down room without equipment about "Sports Safety."

So instead i had them make their own comics! (and they are awesome!)

I started by working through an example comic strip about "Sports Safety" with the whole class. In it, a girl tells a boy to wear a helmet, but he refuses, gets hit by a car and then wishes he did wear one. The kids were then instructed to create their own stories and comics about a topic in sports safety.

Some of the (already terrible) classes took this as an opportunity to riot, and the available sinks only exacerbated their craziness (note the growing puddle of water next to the kid in the top picture from the sink he broke).

Other classes managed to do extremely well and produce incredible, crazy comics.

Here are some examples, I will try to post more comics everyday until i run out.

This is kitty's favorite, especially the part with the "FREEZE" because the kid insisted on going outside naked. Also for some reason, all Chinese kids know the expression "Oh my god!"

I love the "bleed" panel from not stretching.

I am just confused by this last one.

Happy Valley

Last week Wednesday we arrived to our lunch to hear the pleasant surprise that class was canceled for Thursday and that instead we would all be shipped off to Happy Valley!

I captured their weasely mascot before he could strike more kids with his tail (Seriously he would sneak up and wail on kids with that thing).

Look at these horrible things available in the gift shop

We got to see Christopher Lloyd in his latest masterpeice, "R.L. Stein's (sp?) Haunted Lighthouse 4D" (the fourth dimension is apparently mist). Basically he served the role of looking baffled at things and precariously swinging sharp objects (like a swordfish) towards the camera.

Being a teacher was awesome because you automatically got to cut in front of the billions of little children. The downside was that you would also have billions of little children screaming, "HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!" like maniacs. They were like crack addicts, but for recognition from a white person.

We got to wail on our teacher friends in bumper cars- Oh excuse me, "LaZer Bumper cars" (no lazers were involved.

Me and Jody and teacher friend andy got to sneak onto this fun ride twice where you float around blasting targets, getting attacked by snakes, and getting soaked by others. Jody used poor andy as a human shield.

We also got to live the nerds dream and play counterstrike IN REAL LIFE!

Here is Jody with his elite crew of counter-terrorist agents

Kitty demolished everyone and took home the gold medal that day in death!

On the way back home that day, i finally got to snap a photo of kitty's and mine favorite advertisements. They show the happy, cool subway hauling chubby red-cheeked citizens wherever they need to go while leaving the suckers to ride inside of the sometimes angry, sometimes crying, snail monster. Poor snaily...

There is also the Eiffel tower for some reason.

Our super nice teacher friend, Andy (Friend+andy=Frandy) took kitty out for a free super deluxe 2.5 hour long haircut/massage.

I agree with kate that she looks super cute!

Our friends also brought us to an awesome restraunt, which despite some of its dishes, was actually the best food we had to date! They had this amazing desert of bananas covered in boiling hot sugar, that you would dip in water to freeze and then eat! Totally awesome!

My googlin master dad got the last Andy challenge. Here is the next: Who is the dude's head to the right of einstien? The building next door had DaVinci and Edison, so who is this guy? All of our guesses were Oppenheimer for some reason. (Worth 2 andy points).

Kite Festival

The Shenzhen Kite Festival featured tons of countries from all over the world and, as our contact teacher (who is also the head of the Shenzhen Kite Flying association) told us, "All of your foreign kite flying athlete friends will be there!"
Quick test! Check out the flag in the right of the picture with a moon and star and otherwise is just an american flag. Bonus Andy points for whoever guesses it!

Sadly the winds were so strong that many of the kites had to be grounded because they were breaking in the air or being swept away into the ocean. My favorite kite of the whole fest was this awesome carp one, which narrowly avoided disaster via the incredibly swimming abilities of its owner.

The carp kite, however, is not to be messed with and can be easily provoked into anger.

I bought a friendly kite and soon the crazy carp and me were buddies!

Even though the wind typically blows in a uniform manner, my kite for some reason always flew perpendicular to every other kite on the beach. This led to some suspenseful kite battles of which i won 2 and lost 1 (see below).

The korean team let out this crazy hyper-kite, built from a string of many kite attached about 2 meters apart and stretching 500 meters into the clouds! They had 6 guys working on the kite at any given time.

The most dramatic "kite fight!" happened when my kitemy kite fly directly over the korean super kite and crashed. Instantly some dudes went racing for my kite and which i figured would be to lift my kite back up and send it up. I kept shouting at them and thanking them, when one dude pulls out his big knife and just slices my kite right off. But that is what you have to expect when you enter the dark world of professional kite flying. One moment you are flying up above the clouds but one wrong move and your life line will be sliced!

My other favorite kite at the fest started out as "Everyone's favorite Basketball man, YAO MING!" So it was a little yao ming head with some legs, but then his head blew off into the ocean and there was just a flying pair of legs. Then later 3 more pairs of flying legs came up to join it.